Does Empathy Even Matter?

Miley Cyrus was on to something when she said it was about 'the Climb'

Fuego Volcano in Guatemala (read below for context)

---

I despise the phrase "I’m an empath." It feels self-aggrandizing. Empathy isn’t something you can claim for yourself; it’s noticed by others through your actions.

Now, while I take issue with self-described empathy, I find myself having complicated feelings about it as a whole. I’m grappling with two opposing sides of empathy: it’s much easier to give than to receive. Does that make the empathy I give inauthentic? Or is empathy just a “loser’s game”? Some say, "Nice guys finish last," and the latest winners in the world seem to lack empathy altogether. Does understanding different perspectives only hurt us in the process? Let’s get into it.

When our friend tells us they had a difficult day at work, most of us instinctively want to understand their situation. We prod and seek to understand because we can imagine how we might feel in their shoes. Yet, when it’s our turn to share, we somehow feel disconnected from the empathy we receive. We minimize our struggles or rush to pivot the conversation. If receiving empathy is so uncomfortable, does that make the empathy we give inauthentic? Not necessarily. I think it suggests we haven’t been taught to give ourselves enough grace.

If hearing a lie a thousand times can make it feel like the truth, maybe hearing the truth a thousand times can transform the lies we tell ourselves. Someone else’s empathy towards us can slowly meld into our own internal monologue.

But here’s the paradox I’m working through: does empathy feel like a weakness because we can't accept it ourselves? How valuable is it if we can’t let it in? I believe empathy is a form of intellect and confidence. It takes a certain security to learn from different perspectives, rather than staying trapped in our own self-constructed narrative.

Practicing empathy is like wanting to view the mountaintop. From your car, you might only see the peak. As you climb, the path unfolds, and the view changes. You summit the mountain, and there is an expansive view in front of you. Yet through it all, you still have the same eyes, the same shoes, and the same knowledge that you started with. But now, you have perspective. Empathy doesn’t diminish our autonomy because we never relinquished it. It broadens our perspective and allows us to examine different viewpoints. Isn’t life more colorful when we see it from many angles?

I believe empathy is also a signal of strength. It’s the exercise of holding our own opinions and choosing to carry others' perspectives for examination. And along the way, if needed, we can swap some out or lighten the load. Sure, you can imagine what the view from the top could be while sitting in your car. But the climb—shoutout to Miley Cyrus—is what creates a lasting impact. And what kind of life is an imagined one when we can instead experience the world directly?

Empathy is the strategy of the winner’s game. Even if it’s the long game. To be able to climb the mountain, come back down, and forge ahead is a symbol of dexterity and mental acuity. In the long term, it helps us make thoughtful decisions, navigate complex social dynamics, and understand any perspective outside our own. Whether in business, finance, technology, or creative pursuits, the greatest power lies among those who are able to authentically give and truly receive empathy.

Empathy speaks to our shared humanity. I know I’m just starting out on this journey, but I’m willing to bet on the necessity of this practice, forever.

Empathy is complicated. It feels deeply human, though its track record often wavers in the real world. But why fight something that makes us feel human? Let’s figure out how to work with it, not against it. You need it. I need it. It’s free, and it could set us all free.

Obviously, you need to listen to the song.