Imperfectly Imperfect

Letting go of perfectionism to embrace joy, creativity, and the unexpected magic of life.

I’ve started and re-started this piece four times now. I procrastinated on writing it for a month, despite having the initial idea in early January. Every time I thought about getting started, my mind flooded with anxiety, leading to an immediate doom scroll or an emergency nap.

Perfectionism. It’s the quiet, blaring voice ringing in the foreground of our lives. We live in a culture that makes it feel like if you don’t achieve whatever arbitrary goal you’ve set the first time, you’ve failed. To me, perfectionism is a powerful limiter. The pressure to flawlessly execute every task, every interaction, every decision, because if it doesn’t fit the idealized vision you’ve created, did you even really try?

But why is this so ingrained in us?

I recently asked my aunt, who has been teaching Bharatanatyam (South Indian classical dance) for 25 years, what’s changed in the last three decades with her students. Her answer was simple: today’s students are far more focused on getting each step exactly right than on enjoying the beauty of the dance and its artistry. She explained that while the steps are essential for the flow and continuation of the story, the hyper-focus on technicality is diluting the power of their performance.

Our collective need for infallibility stems from generations of conditioning. We’ve been taught that everything is finite and must be seized in the expected moments.

But perfectionism doesn’t just stop at work or hobbies though. It can also seep into our social lives. We might make a new friend and expect them to immediately know our truest self. Maybe we go on a date, and they check 7 out of 10 boxes, but the three that don’t are the ones that stick out like a sore thumb. The insurmountable bar we often hold ourselves to shapes how we judge others. Sometimes unfairly and too harshly. But realistically, we owe it to one another to extend some grace. We are all ever-evolving, and accepting people for their imperfections is what brings out their beauty and our own.

My favorite metaphor for the necessity of imperfection involves the beauty of our faces. It is scientifically studied that the most beautiful faces are symmetrical. But, if you look at images where faces are perfectly mirrored, they’re actually rather unsettling. The asymmetry is what makes your face human and pleasing to look at.

I also hope we can also reflect on some of our greatest moments of joy and growth. They probably happened when we didn’t hit the jackpot. When we weren’t perfect. Sometimes you order the worst drink on the menu, and it becomes the joke of the night. You might wear the wrong outfit to an occasion, but it sparks a conversation and leads to a new friendship. Being imperfect makes us interesting. It makes us brave. I think it’s what’s led to some of our funniest stories. And honestly, what is life if not a series of humorous moments.

We create the most beauty and impact when we free ourselves from stringent expectations. We become more productive, creative, and inspired. I believe allowing yourself and others to be imperfect is one of the kindest gifts we can give and receive. While you may not feel your best when you’re not meeting your own bar, it’s undoubtedly the best way to set yourself up for true success.

I challenge everyone reading this—including myself—to just try being imperfect at something this week. Whether that’s cooking a new dish you’ve never tried, running as a non-runner, or reading 50 pages of a book in a genre you don’t usually gravitate toward. Let’s try to get uncomfortable and discover what magic exists on the other side:)